Movie Reviews

Rampage Review: Dumb as a Rock

Rampage Review: Another Dumb Rock Action Movie

The Rock excels in peddling cheesy action films through the power of his charisma alone, but this time around, it seems that he’s own brand is threatening to overshadow his M.O.

Rampage is another Dumb Rock Action Movie™. Unfortunately, even for cheesy sci-fi fans, this movie has even less to offer than what you would expect from a popcorn blockbuster.

For all the millennials who aren’t aware, Rampage is an adaptation of a videogame where the player takes control of three huge monsters and – guess what – rampage through the city. That’s pretty much it, but of course, since it was acquired for $33 million, the studio has to get back a return on investment.

Rampage revolves around the humans instead and what you end up with is a monster movie that’s as bland as its lead character.

The Rock here is aggressively inoffensive, made sure to be non-threatening and easily sellable to the Chinese market with repetitive dialogue and easily translatable sarcastic sense of humor. Davis is a noble animal-loving scientist who’s too pure for this world but he’s also an ex-soldier with a file studded with redactions.

The movie follows suit. At first, grasping for gravitas with Science is Bad trope and an interspecies bromance. The narrative is too derivative to work, with an overlong exposition, too many human villains, and never convincing CGI. The monsters here are as cartoonish as the rest of the squad – the plucky scientist and a cowboy who works for the OGA (Other Government Agency).

Rampage eventually goes on a rampage mode. Three huge monsters rampage through the city but the action is completely forgettable. There’s no creativity, style nor purpose to these sequences, just random bloodless destruction where tourists just casually fall off of a boat.

For a brief moment, I wondered what would have happened if Michael Bay directed this, and it only proved how generic everything is onscreen that even the Transformers’ inanity has something more to offer.

In the end, there’s no one to care about and nothing to remember unless you’re satisfied with The Rock getting shot point-blank range in the gut and still manages to run around while a giant albino Gorilla fights a flying wolf and a climbing crocodile.

Rampage is a neatly packaged potboiler from The Rock brand that’s designed to be easily marketable and sellable to a broad audience. In its attempt to sell to everyone, it pleases no one.



Rampage is a bland potboiler that's too derivative to sell anything, even mindless fun.

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