Movie Reviews

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon Review – Standard-Issue Bayhem

Movie Review: Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

As usual, Micheal Bay shows off his shtick and disregards the script.

Dark of the Moon delivers spectacular action scenes, but an overlong running time turns everything into a drag. In a movie where the only thing well made is a robot on robot action, it either confuses you with the plot or bores you with cliches.

The first part of the movie presented a back story that was actually interesting.

The script rewrites history by turning the moon landing into a covert mission. The secret gets revealed in the present day, sparking another battle between the Decepticons headed by the bitter half-brained Megatron, and the (non-racist) Autobots lead by the pissed off yet noble Optimus prime, with humanity caught in between.

Sam intentionally inserts himself into the fray with a new girlfriend, desperate to make himself feel important.

The second part delivers the goods. There were plenty of cool action scenes to keep you entertained. Learning from the CGI cluster fuck that is the first movie, you can now identify the good guys from the bad guys.

But as we all expect, the execution of the action scenes is inversely proportional to storytelling.

The movie is plagued with an inconsistent plot and littered with uninteresting characters.

Some hacked up events later a new enemy suddenly rises from the moon and invades Chicago. The Autobots stand side by side with humans to save Earth and defeat the bad guys, but only to pop out of nowhere then fail in some way so that other dumb action scenes can take place. This is only to stall time so Optimus Prime can make a big entrance and end the movie.

Soldiers jump out of planes and mysteriously manage to land somewhere. Optimus prime swoops into a tilting building with rockets strapped to his back and gets stuck in some wires. Bumblebee saves Sam, then suddenly gets caught by the Decepticons to stage up some emotional pause which like all others, is not convincing.

Previous characters made a come back along with new ones, who are merely caricatures to give some lame joke or fill some screen time before something erupts.

Sam just whined and screamed throughout the movie, even Dempsey was less annoying. Megan Fox isn’t much of an actress but she should be laughing her ass off. The new girlfriend is nothing but a wooden plump-lipped stick.

Dark of the Moon fared better than Revenge of the Fallen – it doesn’t feel like an endurance test of redundant explosions and action scenes – but still the same typical Micheal Bay film just with new tricks to fill in theater seats.

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

5

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon is standard-issue bayhem that assaults your senses as much as it insults your intelligence.

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