Cosmic Sin Review: Bottom Barrel Sci-fi

Cosmic Sin looks like a student film whose budget all went to casting Bruce Willis.

The movie wants you to know that a well-known action star is here and therefore your time and money will be well spent, so you get a prologue and foreshadowing in one.

In 2031, the first Mars colony was founded. This paved the way for propulsion technology that enabled mankind to colonize the cosmos.  A couple of centuries and three more colonies later, The Alliance was formed while Mars’ failed. When one colony attempted to withdraw from The Alliance General James Ford (Bruce Willis) dropped a Q-bomb on the rebels.

Meanwhile, a group of astronauts is yeeted into space and enters the atmosphere of a planet. In a streak of light, an astronaut crashes headfirst to the ground. It’s then revealed that he’s the now dishonorably discharged Ford and save for a few scratches, lands in one piece thanks to his cosplay gear.

But wait! this isn’t the story.

Five years after Ford’s genocide, a pair of horny mining employees make first contact with Sigea, an invasive alien species on the Heracles System.

Back on earth, the disgraced General tries to chill at a bar but he’s met with hostility from the patrons. His sidekick starts a fight with a couple of bros, which stops at the sound of a siren. A commander and former colleague walk in and inform Ford that reinstatement is up for grabs if he comes along. The current general has decided to launch operation Cosmic Sin after personnel in an airfield get attacked by mining survivors, who are now under the control of Sigea.

I know this is all a bit confusing but don’t worry, this movie is so horrible that you can’t even like it ironically.

The movie plods on from one plot point to another, going through a series of bottom barrel cliches (e.g. former lover turned villain in bad makeup) and story beats cribbed from better sci-fi movies (e.g. said villain leads an invasion of a hivemind alien species and creates a gateway for the rest of the army). There are no stakes and no sense of urgency.

For instance, mankind is high-tech enough to colonize Mars but not advanced enough to have an army that The Alliance can only rely on a “ragtag” team of tough individuals. Remember those astronauts that were yeeted?

There’s Frank “stay in MCU dude” Grillo as a warmongering general; Bruce “here for the paycheck” Willis as the disgraced general searching for redemption and his two-bit sidekick played by Corey “who dis?” Williams Large; Brandon “nepotism kid” Thomas Lee as the gotta be the hero soldier; Adelaide “sis you deserve better than this” Kane as the engineer; Perrey “of Entourage fame” Reeves as former Mrs. Ford the scientist, and Costas “the dude from Saw” Mandylor as the affordable Sean Bean substitute.

The acting varies from generous (Kane) to bad line readings (Large). The sole purpose of these barely one-dimensional characters is to relay information and sell a comically low-budget film. It all probably went to Bruce Willis so they can only make do with a warehouse, creaky plastic guns, and cheap exoskeleton suits.

I’ve complained plenty about soulless corporate blockbusters with expensive CGI so I was willing to give this movie a chance. Unfortunately, the lazy writing, bad dialogue, unimaginative fights, and laughably cheesy visual effects are too much. The aliens here are obvious extras with masks and black hoods.

Cosmic Sin has no redeeming qualities.